Holy Matrimony -
Grace & Dagley
D. G. Phillips
St. John's West Dublin
– September 5 AD 2009
Rom 12:1-2,9-13
St. Matthew 19:4-6
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Michael
and Amanda, you might wonder what wisdom, what insight, a priest who
has never been married might have to offer to you or to this
congregation, some of you who have been married many years.
Well, the reality
is that every one who has been baptized into Christ and believes has
been mystically united with Christ in what has been termed in the
Tradition as a spiritual marriage – we dwell in Christ and he dwells
in us. Christ marries the Church. God marries our soul. And so, I
know something about marriage already and so do each of you.
And if you
continually remember this, you will know both what earthly marriage
is about and what it should look like.
You know what an
icon is in the Orthodox tradition – a painting of Christ or of one
of the saints. And when people look on them they are led to think
on the one who is imaged. Earthly marriage is supposed to be a kind
of “icon”. Together, you are to become a living picture on earth of
that Divine-human marriage – so that all who look upon the two of
you can learn something of that Divine-human marriage from observing
your relationship.
So if you are
ever wondering about how to act towards or to respond to your
spouse, you simply recall how our Lord acts and responds towards
you.
Remember the
voice of Christ’s Spirit dwelling in you, the voice of Love. We
know that that voice encourages us when we are down. The Spirit is
described as the Comforter – one who gives us strength. The Spirit
moves our hearts to have compassion. This voice of the Spirit
is the voice you are use with one another.
The Spirit is
also the voice that calls us to account when we are offending in the
ways of love, awakening our conscience. The reason God does this is
not because He wants to show us up or how smart He is or to get back
at us, but because God does not want to see the soul of His beloved
harmed in any way. So this shapes the character of any rebuke that
might be necessary in a marriage. We also know that Jesus is quick
to forgive, full of mercy, forbears us, is patient, is kind. So if
a rebuke doesn’t work, you are patient and wait in hope for your
beloved to see more clearly, as God does with us.
Your vows you
just made to each other were to have and to hold your beloved
not just for better, for richer, and in health, but for
worse, for poorer, and in sickness.
And it is in
having and holding when your spouse is worse, poorer and sick
that your love is really tested and also made perfect.
As you show this
Christ-like love to one another in your marriage, you will find that
God is uncovering His image and likeness in you and also in your
beloved. Respond with gladness to that image of Christ in each
other and forgive and forbear that which yet to be reformed.
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To strengthen
your marriage with one another – each of you individually, must take
the time and the opportunities to strengthen your mystical marriage
to God in Christ.
In the reading
from Romans, St. Paul reminds us that it involves both our body and
soul:
- Present
your bodies a living sacrifice, holy.
Be holy – do not abuse your body or the body of your spouse – in your
outward actions, in your daily lives, remember that your bodies are
Temples of the Holy Spirit. When you fail, be cleansed by the body and
blood of Christ.
- And
of your soul St. Paul says, Be ye transformed by the renewing of your
mind – seeking always to know what is that good, and acceptable,
and perfect, will of God. That perfect will, what God wants of us,
is discovered only in prayer and in reading Scripture and in listening
to the council of mature Christians.
So, strengthen
your mystical marriage with God – body and soul – and you will
strengthen your marriage with one another.
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In the Gospel
reading Jesus speaks of unity and faithfulness in marriage.
‘For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall
cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?’ Wherefore
they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath
joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Do you see how
this applies both to your marriage individually with Christ and to
your marriage with one another?
For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave
to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Jesus left his
heavenly Father to take flesh and dwell with us. When he died on
the Cross he left his earthly mother, and by this dying and rising
again he became married to His bride, the Church – so we are one
flesh with Christ through baptism and faith.
And
today, Michael and Amanda, you have left father and mother to cleave
to one another and shall be one flesh. It is God who has led you to
one another and it is God who will sustain you in your marriage and
deepen your love for one another.
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Do
not put asunder your marriage individually with God, and God will
teach you all you need to know about marriage with one another. And
you will shine in your lives together as an ever and ever brighter
image to the world, an icon, a living picture, of the mystical
marriage of Christ and His Church.
May the Lord
bless you and keep you, the Lord make His face to shine upon you and
be gracious unto you, the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and
give you peace, both now and evermore. Amen.